A good mother requires a delicate balance of watching, observing, listening, guiding, controlling and yet trusting and letting go. My greatest responsibility, and the source of my greatest joy, and fulfillment.
There is nothing more beautiful than to look at my daughter and see reflected in her eyes all the love, care and dedication I’ve given her, and to see that my work has not been in vain. But it’s not over, and I don’t think that it will ever be. Sometimes I wonder if what I do and how I do it, is the right way, but then I ask myself, am I being honest, am I speaking from my heart and experience, and are my intentions motivated by the enormous love and desire to empower this human being to be the best that she can be?
I’m not perfect, and through my imperfections I humbly accept with greater empathy. I also see more and more how this frail society increasingly dangles its vulnerable ego on a thin string of material gain and external recognition. I am committed 100% to exploring this phenomenon with my daughter, through our daily activities, through everything that is being fed to us by the media, and our surroundings, in terms of behavior, fashion, standards of living and questioning.
The most challenging of all, at least for me, is to make her see that it’s not about today’s instant gratifications, but about tomorrow’s enduring and integral fulfillment. I guess it’s the natural thought process of a youth, to not have to be aware of time and space, and to think that there is no tomorrow, while everything is given to them by the parents.
I ask myself how a child can learn to appreciate and value things when everything comes so easy, when time just lingers with no responsibilities or tasks at hand.
I am so grateful for what my parents taught me, when I was forced to sit at the dinner table every night after school and do my home work, and then do extra work that my father would give to me and my other siblings, in Spanish. I am grateful that my parents insisted we sit at the dinner table every night and over a meal have a conversation and share the day’s events in Spanish. I am grateful for having the responsibility of washing the dishes, of helping with the laundry, of making my bed and keeping the home neat and clean. I am grateful that my father always insisted on practicing manners and discipline. He watched over us like a hawk, making sure we knew how to eat, and sit straight, and excuse ourselves from the table. I am grateful that he insisted we respect others as we respect ourselves. So when I see my daughter not take notice of these things, I instantly address them, and take the time to discuss their importance and value.
It’s a pity that in our public schools students are not being taught manners, values, ethics… I believe that without these observances, students don’t have the opportunity to appreciate education, discipline, will power and intellectual ambition. This is not a luxury, my parents didn’t have money, my father was a baker and my mother a beautician. Their story is fascinating and unpredictable in that they arrived to this country with money but then lost it all and had to start from scratch, unaccustomed to a life of struggle. I am proud to see how they rolled up their sleeves and faced their reality with courage and passion. We lived a simple life, but a very rich life filled with love, good food, conversation, travel, and structure. I am lucky that my parents had no addictions, nor external dependencies, they got up early every morning with a smile. My father was very temperamental, and overpowering, yet always available to drive us to our dance, and music after school lessons. He always regretted not having had the opportunity for an education because of the Spanish Civil War, so he wanted his children to take advantage of the blessings of a war free society...
Hollywood, California 1971
“There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children ... one is roots, the other wings”
Stephen Covey