photo of The Blue Ridge Mountains
I worked at a canary that summer, and almost
joined a "Born Again" sect. I had just graduated from High School, I was young, looking for truth,
wanting to be a part of something good. I began attending this church
that spoke to me about good and evil, the approaching End of the World and the need
to be born again in order to save my soul. I cried a lot that summer and
remember as I looked out to sea, I felt this heavy burden with the world's sins.
I was told that in order to save my soul I would need to stay in Alaska
and become a born again Christian, that returning to Los Angeles would be
returning to hell. I looked for a job, and was hired as a journalist at
the Anchorage Daily News. I was excited and very proud of myself for this
accomplishment right out of High School. I called my parents and
explained to them that I had decided to stay in Anchorage because I had found
God, and needed to stay away from evil. I explained to them that I wouldn’t
be able to speak in tongues the language of God, if I left. I tried to make
them see all my reasons. I was passionate, and hurting inside.
My dear parents were in shock fearing for my
life and my future, still they tried to be understanding, my mother suggested
that I give it serious thought, and listen with a keen ear to my own inner
intuition and sense of justice. She asked me if I thought it was right to
abandon my family and turn my back on my life to be saved in heaven, would
anyone who loves me really want that for me? She also asked that I look closely
at the people involved, and those who ran the organization in terms of their
ability to behave as true Christians. Are they humble? Are they
compassionate? Are they honest? Are they detached from material things?
Are they tolerant and flexible, and demanding of themselves first
before judging others? Do they understand what love is? then: "Humans are imperfect, but worse is when we are righteous and hypocritical." My father gently suggested.
So I began to look
more carefully and ask questions. I found out that the members were
forced to give 15% of their monthly income to their church,
people who barely made ends meet, I visited several of these members at their trailer
homes and saw the poverty in which they lived. I found out that the
leader of the congregation owned more than several expensive cars and was
driven by a chauffeur, owned several homes and had been intimately involved with
a few of the young women in the organization.
These contradictory revelations were disheartening and scary, for I had been told that celibacy and obedience was the path to meet God. I began to feel manipulated as I couldn’t explain to myself their irrational justifications.
I explained to a few
heads of the congregation that my parents needed me to come home to Los Angeles,
to first discuss in person with them my intentions before I proceeded to move back to Alaska. They were furious, insisting that Los Angeles was hell on earth, and that if my parents stayed in Los Angeles asking me to be with them there, that they were sinners and were condemned to burn in hell, but that I still had a chance to be saved, if I stayed and never went back to Los Angeles.
A light shined before me
as I answered so very proudly that I would rather go to hell and be with
my family and their unconditional love, rather than be saved in a heaven of lies and imprisoning terms. They were not nice about my response, as a matter of fact I felt venom spitting out of their eyes as they asked me to leave their church.
I learned then that the control
that these people have on others is based on uneducated and irrational reasoning. For many months later, I heard voices and felt guilty and unsafe. Thank God, my family's love protected me in the end.
Religion is often used
as a manipulative tool to control the masses. I believe in individual freedom, spiritual grace and unfiltered education. The better informed we are the better judgment we have
to make choices and contribute to our society.
For me, Palin is a great
performer, entertaining satirist with an awful lot of wise cracking sarcasm,
but so far she has not revealed anything honest or well intentioned. I hope that
our beautiful country refuses to play her game, and instead of letting Obama’s
name and color get in the way, we do the right thing for our children, our future
and our country.