Such joy it is to explore the expansive adventure of life. We must never lose our faith in human kind, nor the ability to use our inquiring minds for enriching the hearts of others.
In these pages I share creative works I've completed, and others in progress.
May we transcend these troubled times through kindness, truth and good will. My life experiences have proven that through creativity much can be understood and healed.
You may recognize me in the roles I played in these films. Works I cherish for the lovely growing experiences that involved a creative process unfolding alongside the personal, while elevating my perspectives to poignant multi-levels.
For me, acting is a sacred experience because through the work I'm always honoring the human condition with better understanding and empathy for myself, and others. Working alongside generous and tenacious fellow actors has enriched my life as much as my craft.
I always steered away from fully being identified only for my profession. It was never enough, everything sparked my curiosity, which didn't fit with my intended stereotype. I am so much more than any label society tries placing on me and especially as an actor. Labels are created in order to undermine, and I knew that instead of narrowing my perspective what I needed was to peel away layers, break open boundaries, silence the noise and follow my deepest inner callings. The contradictions that one has to face in life, but especially as an actor are extreme, on the one hand the actor, while learning to pour out his heart and soul in order to reflect truths, exorcise demons, experience profound vulnerabilities while being present in the moment and fully receptive, also experiences a need to work, and be seen, thus forced to become desperately ambitious, and self-centered. I didn't want that to happen to me, I wanted a balance, I wanted a life, and believed that only through life experiences my work would really evolve organically. This awareness expanded my world and life horizons on so many levels.
I feel very lucky in that I worked with amazing artists, owning innate compassionate impulses, but the few who attempted discounting me, and ostracizing me I now see as angels in disguise because they informed my later actions, awakened my courage, and gave me the chance to practice resilience. For example, upon ending my second year of college in a three-year theatre academy, I was unexpectedly asked to leave because, "I didn't fit in." And this is after the head of the academy had placed his creepy hand on my shoulder (just a week earlier) while I was alone in the mezzanine one night doing lights for the third year's production of "Love's Labour's Lost." He whispered in my ear: Next season it's you on that stage. My scene final was from The Dutchman, and was a huge success. I got an A+, and still I was told, "I didn't fit in." I later heard that those same teachers were mentioning me as their exemplary student to their incoming freshmen, and taking credit for my professional accomplishments. By then I had already appeared in a major Hollywood film. That was a kind of bullying that could have broken me, but instead it forced me to figure out a way to pick myself up from my bootstraps and rise above the bullshit. Still, I feel robbed of my getting my BFA.
Once I started working professionally I moved to New York, and focused on studying with private teachers all over the city. While I waitressed at a private club at night, I studied during the day, first with Uta Hagen, and Herbert Berghoff, then Bill Hickey, and after auditioning for Julliard's acting program with two monologues and two songs, I was accepted into their music program, but like a fool I declined their offer, afraid that I would not be allowed to act. My bad!
Of course I was different, and everyone should be different and unique in their own special way. In College I had already read, Strasberg at the Actors Studio. The owner of the restaurant, La Strata, in Griffith Park, where I worked as a hostess and occasional singer, had given me the book, which I still review every now and again. That book was my bible because it gave me an understanding of the difference between acting from the outside where it's all appearance, as opposed to from the inside where deep truths are explored emotionally. Maybe that's why I didn't fit in, or perhaps it was my gypsy-like, unconventional upbringing, having grown up between many continents; a little town in Northern Spain, the capital of Colombia, and California.
Life is good and there are no coincidences. It may not always be exactly as you planned it, but if you follow your heart you'll be surprised at how much better life turns out, even beyond your wildest dreams. We've just gotta stay open and free to the magic that unfolds at every minute. A little suffering pays off.
Much love to all.
SAG/AFTRA/EQUITY -- IMDB link -- Download Begonya's Resume